Why Talking to Strangers Might Be Good for You
We have all been there. You walk into your neighborhoods cafe, order your coffee, read your newspaper and pretend nobody is around you. Even if you notice something interesting going on, you try to look with the corner of your eye. If it involves a strangers things get even more tricky.
You don't want to look weird or too curious or just plain nosy.
Stranger anxiety is the most widespread disease of the modern society. Sounds unusual but it really is true. Man is a social being and we cannot live without communication. So what is it that makes us avoid conversation and contact with others today?
Maybe a fear of the unknown. We don't really know who the person sitting next to us is. What are his intentions? Why does he want to initiate conversation? Does he have any ulterior motives...or even worse could he do any harm to us?
All of which I understand since the criminality today has reached high levels. Especially in big cities. But are we becoming somehow obsessed with avoiding strangers? Is it about time to start teaching out children to be more open?
Careful but at the same time friendly and more social. Teach them to be approachable but how to avoid trouble too. And this is not by being antisocial.
The way I look at it here is why I will always be open to discussions with people I don't "know" well...
1. I want to develop my social skills and be extroverted toward strangers
We live in a society where good communication skills are absolutely necessary for success at work and personal life. And I don't see how I am going to develop those skills better than being open to conversation with others.
2. Most if not all "strangers" are like you and me
I know that my "hater" attitude sometimes tells me that everybody else is bad and I should watch out for danger. The reality is though that most of the people I meet everyday, in the bus or at the coffee shop, are just like you and me. They have their friends and job and regular life. Some of them might even be better than me in a lot of ways.
So why pretend I am afraid and not approach them? I might have something to gain from them. At least their friendship. Maybe their experience and knowledge.
Has it ever happened to you to open a discussion with a stranger and soon realize what an amazing person he or she is? It's happened to me and it has been a great experience.
3. Just because I am introduced to somebody (a previous stranger) through a common friend this doesn't make him a good person
We all have our acquaintances and friends we hang out with. Some of them are great people, some of them we don't get along with very well. It doesn't matter. Has it ever happened to you to be introduced to somebody that later treated you bad or ended up being a bad influence?
I assume yes, because it has happened to everybody. So why is it that we trust everybody so much if we get to know them through a common acquaintance and we are so skeptical about everybody else. A "stranger" to you is somebody else's best friend! Show some trust.
4. Most of the jobs I have worked in the past require great social skills (with previous strangers)
Unless you work at some type of underground lab, there is only one secret to succeed at work. Improve your communication skills. There is no better way to do this than showing some trust to the ones around you. Talk to them like they are your friends not strangers and give them some value too. You will benefit from it. Directly or indirectly you will see your popularity and social skills grow.